


Divided

by kaywritesthings



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz (Two River Cast) RPF
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Child Abuse, Depression, Drinking, Drugs, Electric shocks, F/M, Fire, M/M, Minor Character Death, Self-Harm, ends at the squip song, lowkey richjake, mostly rich pining over jake, sorry there are so many warnings rich is troubled
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 15:07:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17869541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaywritesthings/pseuds/kaywritesthings
Summary: The last time Rich was normal was age eight. He stopped being normal when his mom passed away and his once-admirable dad turned into a monster. Then he discovers SQUIPs, and his life is flipped from sad to interesting.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is for the Be More Chill big bang on Tumblr! I've never done one of these before, but I think this is a decent turnout for my first one.

Childhood. The most innocent part of one’s life, and the last time Rich Goranski could recall being legitimately happy.

Rich was always bursting with energy, even if he was on the smaller side. He wore a blue dinosaur t-shirt that was covered in mud, and his brown hair was an untamed mess on top of his head. Big doe eyes sparkled with curiosity at the world around him, trying to take in all the information he could. 

Rich lived with his mother, and his older brother, Kevin. His father was deployed in the Air Force, but Rich was a little too young to fully understand why. He thought a lot about his dad. He saw all the other boys playing catch with their fathers, saw all of their dads at their baseball games cheering them on, and it made him sad. He didn’t understand why he couldn’t have that, too. Where was his dad when he needed him?

Rich took out his frustrations the only way he knew how to. He screamed and cried and pulled fits and threw things. All the teachers thought there was something wrong with him. His behavior was bordering on worrisome. He didn’t have a whole lot of friends in kindergarten, despite the teacher’s insistence that everyone in the classroom was friends. 

He sat in the sandbox, minding his own business. He piled sand into a bucket and dumped it over, only for the sandcastle to collapse. Rinse and repeat. He was starting to get frustrated when hands covered his eyes. 

“Richie!”

He shrieked and shoved the hands away, turning around. There stood Rich’s savior. His mom. A short blonde woman with brown eyes. Next to her stood his eight year old brother, Kevin, who looked unamused. Rich giggled and leapt up into his mom’s arms. She happily scooped him up and poked his nose.

“Oh, you’re covered in sand.” His mother brushed off his clothes. “How was your day, sweetheart?”

“It was good!” He replied. She hummed softly and nodded.

“That’s wonderful. Let’s get going, though, we have to get you to see Dr. Foster.”

“But I don’t wanna see Dr. Foster.” He pouted. She sighed, once again launching into her speech about how seeing Dr. Foster was important and that she was going to help with his lisp. Rich heard that word a lot. Lisp. He wasn’t really sure what it meant at first, but he quickly learned that it wasn’t good.

Rich’s mother waved goodbye to his teacher and brought him and Kevin to the car. She buckled him up in the backseat, played a CD that the boys enjoyed, and they were off.

“Kevin!” Rich yelled excitedly. “Today I saw, um, a-a frog.”

“Yeah?” Kevin seemed only mildly entertained. Every day, Rich told some epic about how he saw an animal. Kevin wasn’t sure if all of them were true or not.

“Yep! It was big and slimy.”

After a short drive, they got to the office of Dr. Foster. Rich was hesitant, but he followed his mom inside while Kevin waited in the waiting room.

Dr. Foster’s office didn’t really look like an office. It had a desk, but it also had a big plush couch and various toys in a box. On the beige walls were posters of the alphabet, handwriting samples, phonics, and more. Dr. Foster herself was a young woman, with brunette hair and kind eyes.

Rich leapt up onto the couch and rolled around, giggling. His mother sat next to him, mumbling something about sitting upright. Rich sighed, but obliged. Dr. Foster and Rich’s mom talked for a bit about stuff that Rich tuned out before they began. It was the usual stuff: sounding out words with the sounds he had trouble with, and a little bit of writing. Before Rich knew it, the appointment was over and they were heading home.

“There’s a surprise for you boys tomorrow,” Rich’s mom said, looking in the mirror back at Rich and Kevin. Rich gasped loudly.

“A surprise?!”

“What kinda surprise?” Kevin leaned forward eagerly. Their mom laughed softly.

“You’ll see. But it’ll be here in the morning.”

 

All night, Rich couldn’t sit still. He was beyond excited for whatever surprise his mom had in store for them. He tossed and turned in his bed relentlessly until he finally got too tired and passed out.

 

The next morning, Rich woke up to Kevin shaking him and yelling his name.

“Richie! Richie!” He called. Rich sat up straight, gasping. He wasn’t expecting to be woken up so abruptly, but he couldn’t say that he minded a whole ton. Not when a surprise was involved. The boys raced downstairs, almost tripping over each other. There, in the kitchen, stood a man. He wore a camouflage uniform, and his hair was shaved down to almost nothing. Somehow, he didn’t look any different than he did when he left.

“Dad!” They yelled in unison. Their dad laughed as both boys attacked him, hugging him like there was no tomorrow. 

Rich couldn’t remember the last time he felt so happy! Finally, they could be a family again. Finally, Rich wouldn’t be the odd one out at school. He wouldn’t be the weird kid with no dad anymore.

For three years, they were happy. Then his mom started acting weird. It was little things at first. She started forgetting things and she just couldn’t seem to focus. Then came the seizure. From there, everything changed. She was diagnosed with stage four glioblastoma: brain cancer.

Rich didn’t know how to feel. He was only eight. He was still learning about the world, still getting used to life’s cruelty. Never had he been presented with such a terrible circumstance, not even with his dad. He wasn’t so sure how to process it. Within a year, his mom would be gone. She’d no longer be around to make him PB and J with the crust cut off, she wouldn’t be there to tuck him into bed and kiss his forehead and tell him how much she loved him. None of that would happen anymore. It would just be him, Kevin, and their dad, up against the world.

Over time, she looked worse. She lost weight and stopped eating, and in the final weeks she was in the hospital. Every day, their aunt brought them to visit. Their dad never left the hospital room, trusting his sister to take care of his children. 

The last time Rich saw his mother, he didn’t think it would be the last time. She didn’t seem any more sick than she had been the last few days. But she didn’t have the strength to lean over and kiss Rich on the head, or even to speak. She just held his hand and gazed at him, beaming with pride.

When Rich woke up the next morning, it was to his dad’s sobs. He frowned and got out of bed. He peeked out his door, and saw his dad sitting on the couch, his head buried in his hands. He was shaking violently, and in front of him was a bottle of whiskey. Instantly, Rich knew what happened. He slunk back into the darkness of his room and curled up in bed. He cried until he had no tears left to cry.

Over the next few weeks, Rich noticed his dad drinking more and more. He was starting to get scared. He didn’t know a whole lot about alcohol, but he knew that drinking so much wasn’t good. So he decided to confront his dad about it. He shuffled into the kitchen in his  _ Cars _ -themed pajamas and looked over at his dad. He was sitting at the table, his back facing Rich. In his hand was a beer, as usual.

“Dad?” Rich said gently. His dad whipped around.

“What do you want?” He snapped. Rich looked down, but stood his ground nonetheless.

“Why...Why do you drink all that? It’s not good for you…”

A long pause.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” He stood up. “Fucking brat, thinking you can tell me what to do. Fucking disrespectful, that’s what it is. I got half a mind to beat your ass.” 

He grabbed Rich’s arm and lifted him into the air. Rich could hear his heart pounding in his ears, hot tears burning at his eyes. His dad laughed bitterly and dropped him to the floor. Rich gasped in pain as tears rolled down his cheeks.

“Don’t ever talk to me like that again or you’ll get what’s coming to you. Now get the fuck back into your room, fucking  _ brat _ ,” he hissed. Without a second of debate, Rich scrambled back upstairs.

 

Rich was ten and he had a collection of lighters. Over the past few months, he’d been stealing the ones that his dad left lying around the house. He liked to light them and watch the flame dance, watch the shadows that it cast on the faded blue walls of his bedroom. He had around twelve underneath his bed, all different colors and with different designs. 

Sometimes, he would feel numb. A lot of the time, actually. It became harder and harder for him to get out of bed in the morning. His numbness mostly manifested itself in bullying other kids. Particularly one fourth grader named Jason. He was skinny and small and a super easy target. So Rich picked on him relentlessly, saying to him the same things he’d like to say to himself: “You’re so stupid”, “You don’t have any friends”, “Nobody likes you”, etc etc.

Sometimes he felt bad. Most of the time, though, he didn’t. It was his strange way of coping. Coping with having no mom, with his dad’s drinking, with the bruises that covered his small body.

He wondered how Kevin didn’t bully kids, too. They both had to go through the same torment. Maybe Kevin just handled it better.

Rich was twelve and life sucked. Every day seemed to be just a series of anxiety attacks, growing worse and worse as the end of the school day came and he had to go home. All the teachers were so adamant about noticing when students were off, but not a single person ever talked to him. No one noticed the bruises or the scars that lied underneath his black sweatshirt.

No one cared. He hated how he felt: constantly miserable. He didn’t know who to bring it up to, much less how. So he decided that he would just deal with it. Deal with it like he dealt like everything in his life: by pushing it back.

Rich sat deep in the woods behind his house, his knees pulled up to his chest. He struck the lighter over and over, watching the flame roar to life and disappear. It was almost calming. Suddenly, an idea struck him. He grinned to himself and grabbed a stick. He struck the lighter and brought the flame to the stick. The end slowly caught on fire. He watched as the wood wasted away, being disintegrated by the flame.

Sometimes Rich wished he could be as destructive as fire. He wished he could make others feel his pain. Maybe then they’d understand. Maybe.

Rich was thirteen and his safe haven was an abandoned house on a dirt road near the local sledding hill. It was within walking distance, so once he discovered it he began to go there every day to avoid his dad. He liked to sit in silence and think and sometimes get some sleep that was difficult to get at home. 

Sometimes Kevin would come looking for him if it got to be too late and he wasn’t home, but other than them no one seemed to know about the house’s existence. He was pretty sure that animals lived here, he could hear them in the walls, but the most he’d seen so far was a few squirrels. 

Rich sat in the house, the smell of rotting wood filling his nose. He had his homework sprawled out in front of him, using his notes as a reference for the pre-test he had to finish. He scribbled down answers on the paper, wishing it would just do itself. He wasn’t the best student, though he tried his best. Untreated ADD didn’t make life easy. 

He was diagnosed as a kid, and was started on Adderall. Miraculously, it worked. After his mom died, though, he started noticing pills disappearing. At first, he thought nothing of it. Then all the pills were gone. Then his dad simply never gave him the bottle, and Rich knew he was taking it instead. He would speak up if he could. But he couldn’t.

After what felt like an eternity, he finished the work. He stuffed his things into his bag and checked the time. Only 4. His dad usually didn’t leave to go drinking until five-ish. He had an hour to waste. So he pulled a blue lighter out of his pocket and started experimenting.

He hunched over, striking the lighter over and over again. He knew it was probably dead, but he wanted to get all that he could out of it. It wasn’t like lighters grew on trees, anyway.

Finally, it lit. Rich grinned triumphantly, only to find it wouldn’t light again. He sighed and tossed it aside, grabbing another one. He turned the lighter in his hands, examining the intricate designs. 

He bit his lip and rolled up his sleeves. His arms were littered with scars from various injuries, some self-inflicted and some from his father. He pressed the black button and watched the flame burst to life. He slowly moved it towards his arm. 

Rich winced as the heat touched his skin. He squeezed his eyes shut and held his breath, his nerves lighting up with pain. It was a firm reminder that he was alive, that he could feel. It was also a punishment, almost. A punishment for being alive. A punishment for everything he did wrong. He deserved it, and he knew it.

After a minute, he dropped the lighter and looked at his arm. There was a red spot that was quickly swelling. He wasn’t sure why, and he knew it was strange, but it made him feel a little better to see the evidence of what he’d done. 

He repeated the process twice more before he calmed down. His face was tear stricken and sobs wracked his body, but he knew it was all for the best. He took a deep breath and forced himself to get it together.

Rich flicked the lighter on once more and touched it to a leaf that laid on the floor. It caught aflame, and he smiled. Then the floor was burning. And it was spreading fast. His chest was heaving and he didn’t know what to do. So he grabbed his bag and he ran. By the time he was outside, he could see smoke pouring out the windows. 

He should have known how flammable the old wood was. He caught his breath and started sprinting down the dirt road. Away from the burning house and the bad memories that resided there.


	2. Chapter 2

A year after “The Incident”, as Rich referred to it, his father lost their house. They packed up everything and moved within a day. They moved to a tiny old apartment, with two bedrooms, a tiny bathroom, and a tiny kitchen. 

Rich was only a little upset about having to share with Kevin. They’d always been close, sure, but both boys liked their privacy.

He started school a week after moving. Freshman year of high school in a whole new environment. Not only was he new to the town, he was a freshman. He was fresh bait to the seniors, just like the younger kids were fresh bait to him at his old school. 

As he entered the school, he kept his eyes locked on the blue tile floor. He had no intention of making himself known at this school. He just wanted to melt in with the crowd, to hopefully pass high school and get away from his father.

Rich made it halfway down the hall before a pair of hands shoved him to the ground. He gasped in surprise and looked up, to find a tall student standing over him. He wore a red and gold football jersey that read “Middleborough Mustangs”.

“Fresh meat,” he hissed. “Dumbass freshmen. The hell do you think you are, huh? Dressed up in all black like that.” He laughed.

“Uh, um–” Rich stammered. Then a fist was hitting his cheek, and Rich was forced into his back. His head was spinning, and pain radiated through his face. But not a minute later, he heard a familiar voice. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” Kevin. Bless him. 

“Oh, look, here comes your knight in shining armor!” The guy scoffed. Rich felt too lightheaded to comprehend what was being said. That guy really packed a punch. He rarely got hit in the face: his dad wasn’t dumb enough to leave such an obvious injury.

When Rich started to collect his thoughts, the guy was gone and Kevin was helping him stand up. Rich took a shaky breath. His brother, a junior, had just taken down a kid twice his size. 

“Jesus, Richie. Been in this school for five minutes and you already got your ass kicked,” he said, forcing a small laugh. Rich blinked a few times, his vision focusing.

“What happened?”

“Huh?”

“A minute ago…”

“You got hit?”

“No.” Rich shook his head. “After that. I wasn’t really paying attention.”

“Oh.” Kevin laughed. “Uh….nothing, Richie. Just got a little mad. Let’s get to your first class, okay?”

Rich stood up shakily and rubbed his eyes. Kevin walked with him to class. Rich was a little worried about Kevin being late to class, but he didn’t seem to care too much. Just before the bell rang, Rich entered the room. Algebra. He sighed, ignoring the fact that everyone in the room was staring at him. He could practically hear their thoughts:  _ new kid new kid new kid new kid _ . He sat in a desk in the very back of the room, keeping his eyes averted.

Rich barely listened as the teacher spoke, looking around at the students. Suddenly, his eyes fell on a boy. He was tall, and he had his feet kicked up on his desk. His light brown hair was styled perfectly, and he had emerald colored eyes. 

What a beautiful boy.

“Jacob Dillinger, feet off the desk,” the teacher ordered. Jake huffed and obliged, rolling his eyes. Rich knew it was a little creepy, but...wow. Jake was something else. 

But Rich totally wasn’t gay. Totally not. Definitely not. 

Rich’s thoughts were cut tragically short by the teacher speaking.

“...So Rich, how would I do this problem?”

Rich felt his face grow hot as he looked at the teacher. He looked at the board, at the problem written in blue ink. He wracked his brain frantically for memories of the year prior. Math. Math math math. Algebra. Variables and coefficients....

“Um...multiply two by two x and eight…” He walked the teacher through the problem the best he could. The teacher smiled at him and moved on to picking on another student. Rich sighed in relief and looked down. Thank god that was over.

At the end of class, Rich mustered up the courage to talk to Jake. He started towards him, then saw Jake talking to two girls, and he instantly backed off. The one talking was tall and pretty, with long brunette hair. Next to her stood a shorter one, with blonde curls, who seemed much more timid than her friend. Jake seemed very entertained by what they were talking about. Rich couldn’t intrude on that. Besides, it wasn’t like Jake would care about someone like him.

 

The whole year, Rich kept to himself. He didn’t particularly like the people in his grade, except Jake. Even though they barely talked, Jake wasn’t rude to him like some of the other kids. In fact, he had saved his ass from getting beat up on quite a few occasions. 

One time, Rich was in the hall, and a junior named Josh had picked him up and pinned him to a locker. Josh was twice his size and had triple the confidence. He was about to smash his face in when Jake butt in. The only reason Josh listened was because they were on the football team together. Afterwards, Rich thanked Jake, and he only said “no problem”. 

Every time Rich saw Jake, his crush got stronger. Jake was everything Rich wanted to be. He was kind and smart and popular. All things Rich knew that he wasn’t. It was through his crush on Jake that he realized that maybe he wasn’t 100% straight.

But nothing changed at home. In fact, his dad got worse. Every day when Rich got home, he would be drunk out of his mind. With every passing day, it was getting harder and harder to avoid his wrath. Kevin usually took the worst of it, and it was easier for him to play it off as getting into fights or an accident from sports. 

But when Rich came into school with a giant bruise on his cheek, it was harder. When a teacher inevitably asked him about it, he played it off as an accident with his brother. According to him, Kevin was messing around with him and hit him just a little too hard, causing Rich to smack his face on the floor.

It was a lame excuse, really. But they believed every word, and for that he was grateful.


	3. Chapter 3

Rich didn’t mean to overhear the conversation. He was just trying to find something to eat, and he caught a conversation between Kevin and one of his friends, Brady. Brady was a little strange. Honestly, he was almost a druggie.

“Dude, are you insane?” Kevin was saying. “You’re fucking with me.”

“I’m totally not! My college buddy took it, and you know where he is now? Major league baseball!” Brady explained. “I want one. Imagine how much better it can make my life! But they’re like, six hundred dollars.”

Kevin scoffed. “What’s it called again?”

“A SQUIP. It’s just, like, a computer. And it goes in your head and tells you what to do and makes your life  _ amazing _ .” Brady sounded dreamy. Rich stopped and listened harder. Something that could make his life better? What was it? A drug or something?

“You’re fucking crazy. It’s just LSD or something.” Kevin laughed. 

“It’s not! LSD doesn’t last  _ years _ !”

“What about other things?”

“Well…I’m not an expert on drugs!”

“You’re just trying to mess with me, Brady.”

“Whatever. I’m gonna go to Payless and see if the guy will give me a discount on one.”

Rich googled SQUIP over and over and over, only to come up with nothing. How was there nothing about this on the internet? Was it that top-secret, or was Brady really lying? He thought for a long time. If these things really existed, and they really did what Brady said...Rich might be able to be happy again. Maybe he could talk to Jake. Maybe he could be cool. Maybe he could even get his dad taken away.

So he decided that he’d just check it out and confirm the legitimacy of Brady’s claims. He went into his savings (that had been building up for almost five years) and scavenged together six hundred dollars.

 

Rich fiddled with the sleeve of his sweatshirt as he looked around the Payless, feeling his heart pound like a drum in his chest. There weren’t that many people; mostly soccer moms looking for celtes for their kids and pre-teen girls searching for their first pair of heels. He felt extremely out of place, to say the least. 

Finally, his eyes fell on one of the workers. He had a pair of earbuds in as he pushed a cart around, whistling to himself. He wore a black hoodie and flat-brimmed hat. Just the sight of him made Rich uncomfortable. He wanted to run out and put the six hundred dollars back in the bank, to go home and just deal with whatever life had to hand him. He could just deal with the fact that he’d never be with Jake Dillinger, deal with the fact that everyone at Middleborough High School hated him, and deal with his dad’s alcoholism.

Or he could fix it. With six hundred dollars and a shady drug. 

But he decided he might as well take the chance. He took a deep breath and walked towards the worker with all the confidence he could muster. Before Rich could even say a word, the worker spun around. Jesus Christ, this guy was scary.

“What do you want?” He snapped. Rich felt tongue-tied.

“Uh, um...SQUIP?” He asked, internally wincing.  _ Always so good with words _ . An eerie grin grew on the worker’s face. 

“Follow me,” he said, grabbing Rich’s arm. He dragged him off to a shady corner of the room and took a box off his cart. 

“You wanna get one?” The man asked. Rich nodded.  _ No, I’m looking for a weird new shoe brand.  _

Rich watched with wide eyes as the man opened the shoe box. He started to reach in, only for the stranger to slam it shut. Rich yelped in surprise and pulled his hand away. 

“Pay up first,” he ordered. Rich fumbled in his pocket for the cash, and pulled it out. He counted it quickly and shoved it into the man’s hands. The man eyed him suspiciously and counted it again. 

“Six hundred,” he confirmed. “Alright, kid. But listen! I’m not liable for anything you do with this. Or anything it does with you. Y’hear me? And no refunds!”

“O-Okay,” Rich stammered. The worker nodded and handed him a small ziploc bag.

“Take it with Mountain Dew, don’t know why, don’t question it. And don’t take it in public, either!”

“Um...okay.” Rich looked down at the bag. In it was a small grey pill. It was then that Rich realized this could easily just be ibuprofen. Or worse, LSD or something that could kill him. But when he looked back up, the worker was gone. 

On his way out, Rich stopped at a vending machine. He got a bottle of Mountain Dew and made his way home. 

 

Rich was glad that his house was empty. Kevin was out with his friends, and his dad was probably at a bar or something. If either of them saw him popping strange pills, he didn’t want to know what would happen to him. Kevin would scream at him, and his dad…

He didn’t want to think about it. 

Rich sat down on his bed and examined the pill. What’s the worst that could happen? He spent his car savings on a tic-tac? He shrugged and popped the pill into his mouth, washing it down with the green soda. It left a bad taste in his mouth, a mixture of questionably-tasting-soda and mints.

Rich took a deep breath, waiting. He wasn’t sure what to expect. Maybe a computer startup noise. Yet there was nothing. He was about to start beating himself up for wasting his money when a jolt of pain shot through his body.

Panic began to set in. What the fuck did that guy give him? Was he going to die? Pain radiated through Rich’s whole body, his limbs twitching uncontrollably as he dropped to the ground.

“Calibration in process, please excuse some mild discomfort,” a female voice said. Rich grabbed at his hair. The pain was so much that it was almost numbing at this point. Suddenly, it faded.

“Calibration complete. Access procedure initiated.” A pause. “Discomfort level may increase.”

“Wha– _ aaaah! _ ” Rich cried out and squeezed his eyes shut.  _ This is it _ , he thought.  _ This is where I die _ .

_ ACCESSING NEURAL MEMORY. ACCESSING MUSCLE MEMORY. ACCESS PROCEDURE COMPLETE.  _ And the pain was gone again.  _ RICHARD GORANSKI. _

Cautiously, Rich opened his eyes and sat up. There was a woman standing across his room, staring at him with an almost disgusted expression.

_ WELCOME TO YOUR SUPER QUANTUM UNIT INTEL PROCESSOR,  _ she said.  _ YOUR SQUIP. _

“You-You…” Rich frowned as he stared at the woman. She was tall, with her long brunette hair pulled up into a ponytail. She wore black jeans, a teal tank top, and a leather jacket.

“...Lara Croft?” He asked, confused. The Squip frowned and examined her appearance.

_ YES. YOUR FIRST CRUSH, CORRECT? _

“I…yes…” He looked down shyly. Her red lips turned down into a frown. 

_ OH, THAT LISP. WE’LL HAVE TO FIX THAT, WON’T WE?  _

“My…” Rich shifted uncomfortably. He had his lisp since he was a kid. Speaking without it would just be weird. “Right. My lisp.”

_ IT SEEMS THAT YOU TRIED TO FIX IT WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD, BUT IT DIDN’T WORK VERY WELL, _ she noted.

“Um, yeah. But it’s better now than it was before,” he said quickly. She snapped her fingers.

_ REPEAT AFTER ME: I AM A DISGUSTING HUMAN BEING. _

“What?” Rich’s face flushed. When he took this, he didn’t expect to be bullied more. He wanted to  _ stop  _ the bullying.

_ IT’S NOT BULLYING. JUST SAY IT. _

“I am a disgusting…” His eyes widened. “Disgusting…oh my god! My-My lisp!”

_ I WORK WONDERS, I KNOW. ALSO, DON’T TALK ALOUD TO ME, RICH. JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN SEE ME DOESN’T MEAN OTHER PEOPLE CAN. THINK AT ME INSTEAD, _ she instructed. Rich frowned.

_ Um. Okay. _

_ WONDERFUL _ . She smiled proudly.  _ NOW, NEXT LET’S GET YOU NEW CLOTHES. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT A TRIP TO THE MALL? _

_ But I just wasted all my money on you! _

_ RIGHT. TAKE SOME FROM YOUR BROTHER. _

_ But-- _

_ HE HAS SO MUCH SAVED UP THAT HE WON’T NOTICE, _ she said smoothly.  _ IF HE DOES, HE’LL BLAME IT ON BRADY. WE BOTH KNOW IT’S NOT THAT BIG OF A STRETCH TO SAY HE’D TAKE KEVIN’S MONEY. _

_ How do you know so much about me? _

_ RICH, DARLING. I’M INSIDE YOUR HEAD. I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU. ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING. LIKE YOUR CRUSH ON JAKE DILLINGER. HE’S A GOOD LOOKING BOY, SURE. BUT NO ONE LIKES A BOY WHO LIKES BOYS. IT MIGHT BE TOUGH TO TAKE, BUT IT’S FACT. WHEN SOMEONE COMES OUT AS GAY… _

_ I wouldn’t say a hundred percent gay. _

. _..WHEN SOMEONE SAYS THEY LIKE THE SAME GENDER, THEY’RE INSTANTLY CAST OUT. YOU DON’T WANT THAT, DO YOU? _

_ No… _

_ THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT. NOW FORGET ABOUT JAKE, BECAUSE I HAVE A PLAN TO GET YOU A GIRLFRIEND. _


	4. Chapter 4

_ And you’re sure this looks okay?  _ Rich looked at himself in the mirror. He wore camo pants and a camo jacket over a blue tank top. He felt ridiculous. 

_ YOU’RE GOING TO START DOUBTING ME NOW? _ The Squip scoffed.  _ WE DIDN’T SPEND ALL THAT MONEY FOR YOU TO NOT WEAR IT. YOU’LL STAND OUT NOW. _

_ What about the red streak? I look like a fucking rooster. _

_ IN NATURE, ANIMALS FIND MATES BY SHOWING THEIR BRIGHT COLORS. HUMANS ARE HARDLY DIFFERENT,  _ she said with a shrug. She stood next to Rich. It felt a little strange; Rich saw her next to him, but her reflection didn’t show up in the mirror. 

_ ANYWAYS, I WAS LOOKING THROUGH POTENTIAL GIRLFRIENDS FOR YOU,  _ she continued.  _ THE GIRLS IN YOUR SCHOOL ARE VERY...UNIQUE. I THINK THE ONE THAT WOULD MOST FIT YOUR NEEDS IS BROOKE LOHST. _

_ Brooke _ ? Rich’s eyes widened. Brooke was friends with Jake. She was best friends with Jake’s girlfriend, Chloe. If Chloe was the alpha of the school, Brooke was the beta. She was shy and soft-spoken and cute, but Rich had heard many things about her that didn’t seem to fit with her innocent exterior. 

_ YES, BROOKE. DATING HER WOULD BE THE PERFECT WAY TO BRING YOU TO THE TOP OF THE FOOD CHAIN, _ the Squip explained.

_ Wouldn’t we just be using her? That’s a little...messed up. _

_ DON’T THINK OF IT AS USING HER. THINK OF IT AS SKIPPING A FEW STEPS TO BECOME POPULAR. _

_ Skipping a few steps… _ He wrinkled his nose. This didn’t feel right. Brooke was a really nice girl. She was one of the only popular girls to ever really be polite to him, or to even acknowledge his existence. And every time she did, Chloe got mad at her for “being mean to geeks”. 

_ DON’T WORRY ABOUT THE ETHICS OF IT, RICHIE,  _ the Squip said. Her voice was a low purr that sent an uneasy chill up Rich’s spine. Did she have to call him that?

_ YES, I DO. _

_ Oh my god, stop. _

That day at school, things were drastically different. The outfit that the Squip had put Rich in was making people that probably didn’t even know he existed look at him. All the camo made him feel like a war reenactor, but no one else seemed to think it was really odd, which made him feel pretty good.

As Rich walked down the hall to class, he felt himself begin to slouch again. Before he could get very far, though, a shock was sent up his spine. He bit back a yelp of pain and straightened himself out yet again.

The Squip appeared next to him, but Rich didn’t look at her. She’d done very well in training him not to look at her or speak aloud to her when they were in public.

_WALK WITH A PURPOSE,_ _RICH_ , she instructed. _YOU’RE NOT A NOBODY ANYMORE. DID YOU SEE THE WAY THE GIRLS WERE LOOKING AT YOU? THEY THINK YOU’RE COOL NOW, THEY THINK YOU’RE A POTENTIAL MATE._

_ Please don’t call it that. _

_ SORRY. THEY THINK YOU’RE A POTENTIAL...BOYFRIEND.  _ She shrugged and glitched out of existence yet again just as Rich entered algebra. He sat in his usual desk in the back and started to take his things out. To his surprise, he found he was unable to control his motions. His feet kicked up on the desk seemingly by themselves. He started to internally panic. What was happening? Why couldn’t he move?

_ JUST LET ME TAKE CONTROL, _ the Squip’s reassuring voice echoed in his head. He relaxed slightly, but not very much. Not being in control of your own body was probably one of the most terrifying things he’d ever experienced. 

Rich could only metaphorically sit back and watch as the Squip controlled his motions.

“Richard Goranski,” his teacher snapped. “You know how I feel about feet on the desks. Down, please.”

The old Rich Goranski would have listened. He would have taken his feet down and apologized profusely, would have felt his face burning with red hot shame as he did so. But the new Rich, the Squip’s version of Rich, did not. 

“Richard,” the teacher said again. “Would you like to go to the office?”

The class snickered. Rich saw Jake Dillinger look at him and give him a huge grin. 

_ Ja-- _

Pain shot up his spine and he was reminded again of his new identity. The Squip didn’t have to say anything. Rich knew what she’d say, though.  _ No lusting after guys, Richard _ .

“If it gets me out of this class, yeah,” Rich said. The words spilled out of his mouth, and he felt completely mortified. But the class laughed even more and the positive reinforcement from his peers made him feel like he was on top of the world.

“Then you can go, if this class makes you so miserable.” The teacher ripped a sticky note off of a pad and scribbled something down a little dramatically. Rich felt himself stand up and take the sticky note. The Squip, of course, decided to make him wink at the teacher as he left.

Rich wasn’t in control of his body again until after he was out of the office and it was lunchtime. The principal had let him off easy, seeing as it was his first offense. When Rich entered the crowded lunchroom, he felt lost all over again.

_ DON’T SIT DOWN YET,  _ the Squip ordered.  _ JAKE DILLINGER IS GOING TO INVITE YOU TO SIT WITH HIM AND HIS FRIENDS. _

As if on cue, Rich saw the most beautiful boy on the planet walking towards him. Jake had a huge smile on his face as he approached Rich. He had a hand on his bright green backpack strap and the other was lazily in his pocket.

“Rich!” He said enthusiastically. “Dude, what you pulled in math was so cool. She’s such a bitch!”

Rich laughed and brushed it off easily. 

_ IT WAS NOTHING, MAN. JUST STANDING UP TO HER, YOU KNOW? _

“It was nothing, man. Just standing up to her, you know?” Rich said. Jake laughed.

“Yeah, I get it. Hey, do you wanna sit at my table?” He asked.

“Sure.” Rich shrugged and Jake led him to his table. Sitting at it was Brooke, Chloe, Jenna, and a few guys that had made fun of Rich many times in the past.

“Um, Jake?” Chloe frowned. “I thought we agreed no new people unless everyone agrees on it?”

Chloe Valentine was a raging bitch. She was beautiful, though. She had long brunette curls and green eyes that pierced right into your soul. She’d been dating Jake since eighth grade.

“Hi Rich,” Brooke said shyly. Brooke Lohst was the total opposite of Chloe, yet somehow they were best friends. She was shy and soft spoken, and her blonde hair hung in her eyes. She always wore big sweaters and never seemed to try nearly as hard as Chloe did. Seemed, at least.

_ DON’T UNDERESTIMATE BROOKE, _ the Squip reminded him. Right. 

“Oh, c’mon, babe.” Jake sat down next to Chloe and wrapped an arm around her waist. Rich felt a strange pang of jealousy in his stomach. “Rich is cool. He told off Ms. Dean today.”

Chloe looked Rich up and down like a predator stalking its prey. “Fine.”

_ SIT NEXT TO BROOKE _ , the Squip said. 

_ But Blake is there _ —

_ MOVE HIM. _

“Hey, uh, Blake, is it cool if I sit next to Brooke?” Rich asked. Blake raised an eyebrow and didn’t move.

“Yeah!” Brooke cut in. “Blake will move!”

Blake shot Brooke a confused face, but shifted over a seat. Rich took his spot and tossed his bag on the floor. Brooke laughed and twirled a lock of blonde hair between her fingers.

“Rich, you really told Ms. Dean off?” She asked, her voice sweet as honey.

_ OVER EXAGGERATE IT,  _ the Squip said.  _ JAKE WON’T SAY ANYTHING. _

“Hell yeah I did.” Rich smirked proudly. “Told her where to go and how to get there.”

Rich didn’t miss the way Brooke leaned in a little bit. “She is  _ so  _ mean.”

“I know. She’s awful,” Rich agreed, examining Brooke’s features. She really was gorgeous. Her blue eyes pulled you right in, and the light freckles on her face added to her innocent persona. She had such a cute little button nose, too…

“Rich, you should totally get Pinkberry with me after school today,” she hummed.

“Oh my god, Brooke, you are such a slut,” Chloe said, her mouth full of food. (Though Jake still looked at her like she was a queen.) Rich couldn’t tell if she was joking or not.

“I am not!” She countered. “I just wanna hang out with Rich more. He’s cool.”

_ WE’RE IN, _ the Squip whispered. Rich smiled.

“Sure.”

“Great! I have my mom’s car, so you can just meet me at it when the bell rings.” She smiled and twirled the straw of her unidentifiable red drink in a Dunkin Donuts cup. Rich heard Chloe made a loud, disgusted noise and saw her roll her eyes. Jake seemed entirely unaffected by how bitchy his girlfriend was. In fact, he seemed to be focused more on her boobs.

“Me and Jake will go too,” she said. “I have to keep an eye on you, Brooke.” Venom dripped from her words and it made Rich’s hair stand on end. 

_ DON’T BE THREATENED BY CHLOE, _ The Squip assured him.  _ SHE’S NOTHING BUT A TYPICAL ALPHA FEMALE. SHE HAS HER WEAKNESSES TOO. _

~

Pinkberry did not feel like a place Rich should be in. It was all bright colors and fruity smells and teenage girls. Rich felt remarkably out of place. But Brooke didn’t seem to notice how he stood out like a sore thumb. She practically dragged him along to get toppings, and finally they sat down next to Jake and Chloe.

“Damn, Rich, you don’t skimp out on the chocolate chips,” Chloe said. Rich couldn’t tell if she was joking or not, so he just laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his neck. He’d chosen brownie batter as a flavor, with as many chocolate toppings as he could fit.

“Chocolate’s good,” Jake said with a shrug. Rich knew he was imagining things when Jake shot him a wink. He decided that instead of focusing on how cute Jake looked and how his eyes sparkled in the light, he would instead talk to Brooke, who was his actual date.

_ GOOD CHOICE, RICH. REMEMBER WHAT I SAID ABOUT BOYS. ASK BROOKE ABOUT HER HOBBIES. _

“So, uh, Brooke,” Rich said, “what kinds of things do you like to do?”

“Other than lead guys on?” Chloe cut in. Brooke’s face flushed, but she managed to ignore Chloe’s cutting comment. Why was Chloe being such a bitch to her friend?

_ SHE HAS TO CONSTANTLY ASSERT HER DOMINANCE. _

“I like painting,” Brooke replied. “I play lacrosse, too. It’s a lot of fun.”

“Two vastly different hobbies,” Rich pointed out. She giggled and tucked her hair behind her ears.

“I guess so! What do  _ you  _ like doing?” She inched a little bit closer. She smelled like strawberries.

“Uh...I play video games sometimes. I don’t really do sports. Never been super athletic,” he explained. To his surprise, this didn’t seem to turn Brooke off as much as he thought it was going to.

“Really? I’d think you play football. You’re  _ sooo  _ muscular.”

“He’s too short,” Chloe said.

“Chlo, stop,” Jake muttered, so soft that Rich barely heard it. He ignored Chloe and focused on Brooke. She really was beautiful. Even more so than Chloe was, in his opinion.

“You’re so cute, Rich,” she said. He resisted the blush rising to his cheeks and laughed.

“Not as cute as you.”

“Really?” She leaned in a little closer. Before Rich knew it, her lips were on his. His first kiss. And it was with a girl, a real girl, whose lips were softer than silk and tasted like chapstick.

“Gross!” Chloe kicked the leg of Brooke’s chair, and she jolted.

“Oops. I forgot you guys were there,” Brooke said shyly. Jake laughed. He’d been so quiet the whole time that Rich nearly forgot he was there. He was so submissive to Chloe.

Jake had such a perfect smile, and a perfect laugh, and a perfect everything. Even if Rich’s hand was on Brooke’s waist, even if he was kissing her lips, Brooke was not the person that Rich actually wanted.


	5. Chapter 5

Jake Dillinger had infamous parties. He always had alcohol and weed and great music. That, and the fact that she was friends with him, was why Brooke insisted that they go.

Rich had to admit, Brooke was a good girlfriend. She was attentive and sweet and adorable. She was clingy, though. Always holding Rich’s hand, always having to touch him in some way. But that didn’t change how much he liked her-- which, frankly, was not very much.

_ YOU HAVE TO STAY WITH BROOKE _ , the Squip instructed.  _ SHE’S YOUR ONE-WAY TICKET TO BEING POPULAR, DO YOU REALIZE THAT, RICH? _

Rich tried to follow the Squip’s advice. It took a while to get used to, but before he knew it he had completely forgotten about his feelings for Jake. In fact, it felt like he’d just replaced Jake with Brooke. But Brooke wasn’t the same.

They arrived to Jake’s house fashionably late. The house was already filled with drunk teenagers that were acting like toddlers. Almost immediately, Jake was on them.

“Rich! Brooke!” He yelled over the god-awful rap music that Rich had to pretend he liked. “You’re here!”

“Sorry we’re late,” Brooke said, hugging Jake briefly. Rich felt a pang of jealousy in his chest. 

“It’s totally cool!” Jake fist-bumped Rich and shot him a wink. Rich’s knees nearly buckled. A warning shock went up his spine and he straightened once more. 

_ YOU’VE BEEN DOING A GREAT JOB OF REPRESSING YOUR CRUSH, RICH. DON’T MESS IT UP NOW. _

Jake led Rich and Brooke down the hall, giving Rich a quick tour. Jake’s house was huge. It had about a million rooms and hallways, and even a pool and hot tub in the backyard.

“There’s my room, and the guest bedroom. That’s my parent’s room, but it’s locked so no one fucks on their bed,” he said. Brooke leaned over and whispered to Rich.

“He gets super weird about his parents. Don’t mention them.”

Finally, the tour ended at the living room, where all the action was. Two boys on the football team were doing bad karaoke of “I’ve Had The Time Of My Life”, people were making out on the couch, and some kids were doing shots.

“I’m gonna go find Chloe. I’ve barely seen her all night. See you two lovebirds later!” Jake joked. As soon as he was out of sight, Brooke grabbed Rich’s hand and pulled him back down the hall. 

“Brooke, what are we—”

_ GO ALONG WITH IT, RICH. _

Brooke pulled Rich into a closet and grabbed his face, kissing him with more passion than she ever had. Rich’s eyes widened in surprise, but he kissed back.

When Brooke finally pulled away, she was panting. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and smiled. Rich couldn’t seem to find words. Brooke was so pretty. And so nice. But that kiss did not feel right. There was no spark there, and he didn’t know if there ever really had been.

“I think we should break up,” he breathed.

_ WHAT ARE YOU DOING, IDIOT? FIX IT! _

“What?” Brooke’s face fell. Rich’s lips parted as he tried to think of a response. He felt like a fucking fish with his mouth open.

“You’re breaking up with me?” She continued.

“Uhh…”

Brooke’s eyes filled with tears. She flew open the closet door and ran out, leaving Rich alone with pink lipstick marks on his face and feeling an emotion he couldn’t really describe. He felt so awful for dumping Brooke so abruptly, but it was coming no matter what. It wasn’t like he was going to marry her or something. She was cool, but not really his type.

He managed to collect himself and step out of the closet. A few strangers pushed past him, and he felt something else controlling his limbs as he walked to the bathroom. The second he walked in, the Squip materialized in front of him. She looked beyond pissed.

_ WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? WHY DID YOU BREAK UP WITH BROOKE? IT WAS SO SUDDEN THAT MY PROGRAMMING DIDN'T EVEN PICK UP THE POSSIBILITY OF IT HAPPENING!  _ She took a step towards him, her eyes glowing teal.

“I-I, um…” He didn’t know how to respond. He couldn’t just say: Because I wanted to.

_ DON’T TALK OUT LOUD, YOU IMBECILE. HAS EVERYTHING I TAUGHT YOU BEEN FOR NOTHING? IS THAT IT? WOULD YOU JUST RATHER I DEACTIVATE MYSELF? _

_ No… _

_ THEN WHY DID YOU DO IT? WHY WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING SO IDIOTIC? _

_ Because I don’t love her, and I thought not being in a relationship could help me get closer to the popular guys. _

An unprecedented shock went up his spine. He gasped and winced. He still wasn’t so great at hiding when the Squip hurt him like that. With no one else around, he didn’t really care what the hell his reaction was. 

The Squip let out a long, exhausted sigh and rubbed her forehead as if to say “whatever, Rich”. She looked at him once more and crossed her arms.

_ GET BACK OUT THERE. FIND JAKE. IF YOU OPEN UP TO HIM YOUR FRIENDSHIP WILL GROW 15% STRONGER. _

Rich left the bathroom without another word. He bit back the urge to gag at the strong smell of alcohol and weed that instantly overpowered his senses. _ Ugh, gross _ . He looked in the living room and tapped one of the jocks that sat with them at lunch on the shoulder.

“Hey, where’s Jake?” He asked.

“Dunno, dude. Last time I saw him, he was showing you and Brooke around. Sorry.” The athlete shrugged and went back to flirting with a younger girl that looked like she was out way past her bedtime. Rich sighed and continued on to the kitchen, then the game room. No one seemed to have seen Jake, which was especially strange considering it was Jake’s goddamn house. 

_ HE’S IN HIS BEDROOM. _

_ Why didn’t you tell me that five minutes ago? _

_ IT’S FUN TO WATCH YOU SQUIRM. _

Rich resisted the urge to roll his eyes and made his way up the gigantic staircase to Jake’s room. He stopped at the door and knocked lightly, just in case Jake and Chloe were...doing some R-rated stuff.

“What?” Jake’s voice was shaky. Had he been crying? 

“Uh...it’s me.”

“Oh.” The door opened. As Rich suspected, Jake had clearly just paused a tear-fest to open the door. His eyes were red and puffy and his cheeks were tear stricken. He wiped a tear away on his sleeve and beckoned Rich in. He shut the door behind him.

“Sit wherever you want,” he mumbled. Jake’s room was giant, at least three times the size of Rich’s. He had a flat-screen TV and a king size bed. He had two bean bag chairs as well, and lots of other things strewn around like video game controllers, football jerseys, etc. Jake sat in one of the beanbag chairs, so Rich decided to take the other one.

“What’s up?” Jake asked. He seemed relatively stable now, or at least he didn’t look like he was going to break down sobbing again. Rich wouldn’t know what to do if Jake started crying. Probably just be really awkward.

_ I WOULD GUIDE YOU. _

_ Right. _

“I just dumped Brooke in your closet.” Rich couldn’t resist a laugh. It wasn’t rude or cruel-intentioned, more a laugh at the hilarity of the whole situation. “She kissed me, then pulled away, and I said, ‘I think we should break up’. Then she cried. Now I feel really bad, but like…”

“Do you love her?”

“No. But I mean, what the fuck’s love anyways? In high school? It’s brief, it doesn’t last. You know how it is.”

Rich’s words seemed to strike a chord in Jake. His eyes filled up with more tears. Rich didn’t miss the way he blinked them back.

“What’s up with you? Why are you upset?” Rich asked. 

“Walked in on Chloe having sex in the guest bedroom.” Jake laughed bitterly. “She’s a fucking whore, did you know that? She’s cheated on me so many times, and I always go right back to her.  _ Why do I always go back to her _ ? She’s...god, I can’t even say the word that I think she is. She’s mean and controlling and disloyal. But on the other hand, she’s sweet and cute and playful and funny and  _ hot _ .”

Rich echoed Jake’s words, “Do you love her?”

“...I don’t know, man. I did. Do. I don’t know. I just want to smoke and forget her. I want everyone out of my house.” He ran his hands through his messy brown hair. 

_ OFFER TO CLEAR THE HOUSE FOR HIM. _

“Want me to get everyone out for you?”

“...Yeah, man. That would be awesome.”

Rich grinned and went downstairs. 

_ TELL EVERYONE THAT THE POLICE ARE ON THEIR WAY. _

It took a total of three minutes for the house to be completely empty, and Rich was proud. The house was trashed, but he figured Jake would rather Rich come upstairs than clean his living room.

“That was fast,” Jake said.

“Told people that the cops were coming,” Rich explained. Jake burst into laughter.

“For real?”

“Yeah, for real. You should’ve seen their faces.” Rich plopped down next to Jake.

“That’s awesome.” Jake leaned back. “Wanna play video games and forget about being single again?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

The two of them grabbed controllers, and Jake hooked up  _ Call of Duty _ . The two chatted aimlessly as they played.

“Hey, Jake? I have a weird question,” Rich said.

“Shoot.”

“How do you throw such great parties as a sophomore?”

“Can I tell you a secret, Rich?” Jake paused the game and looked over at him. Rich nodded and set his controller down.

“Okay, well one...I was held back in middle school. Technically I’m a year older than you.” He grinned cheekily. Rich laughed and rolled his eyes. “But really. It’s because my parents are loaded.”

“Where are your parents?”

Jake fell ominously quiet. “Um...they’re away. I don’t talk about it much.”

Before Rich could ask any more questions, Jake pressed “play” on the game again.


	6. Chapter 6

May was one of Rich’s favorite months of the year. Almost the end of the school year, but not quite. Every day after school was a beach day. They could ride to the beach with music blasting and the windows rolled down and not a care in the world.

Rich was finally fitting in with the popular crowd, too. All the top dogs seemed to like him, or at least tolerate him. And it was all thanks to the Squip. 

One day, Rich was walking down the hall to his last class, as usual. He hummed as he stepped to the beat of his music. Suddenly, the Squip’s voice echoed in his head.

_ DO YOU SEE THAT BOY IN BLUE? THE ONE AT HIS LOCKER? _

_ Yeah. Jeremy. _

_ GO BEAT HIM UP. _

_ Sorry? _

  1. _TRUST ME. HAVE I EVER STEERED YOU IN THE WRONG DIRECTION, RICH?_



_ I’ve never beaten someone up before. _

_ I’LL GUIDE YOU. _

Rich was a little apprehensive, but he approached the locker of Jeremy Heere with all the confidence he could muster. He wordlessly slammed Jeremy’s locker shut and looked up at him with a cutting gaze.

The Squip took over, as it had so many times before. Rich felt himself slam Jeremy against the wall. Every word he spoke dripped with a venom that he was completely unused to. Jeremy looked terrified, the poor kid.

Jeremy was a lanky kid with a mop of brown hair and icy blue eyes. He always smelled like too much AXE cologne, but he had never necessarily done anything to wrong Rich. In fact, Rich had no idea why the Squip had chosen Jeremy as a target. Probably because he was so passive he wouldn’t say or do anything back.

After giving Jeremy a little intimidating, Rich made his way to class two minutes late. He slipped in the back and sat down next to Jake. He zoned out as the teacher spoke.

_ BULLYING WILL ONLY HELP YOUR STATUS. IT WILL MAKE THEM FEAR YOU, THUS THEY WILL BE NICE TO YOU. DON’T YOU WANT TO BE POPULAR, RICH? DON’T YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY? _

_ Um. I guess so. But Jeremy-- _

_ SCREW JEREMY. HE CAN DEAL WITH IT. WE’RE NOT HELPING JEREMY, RICH, WE’RE HELPING YOU. LEARN HOW TO BE A LITTLE SELFISH SOMETIMES. _

Learn how to be a little selfish sometimes. Rich did not like the sound of that. Not at all.

 

Summer came and went. It was just as fun as Rich expected it to be. Jake was a huge beach person, so nearly every day was spent there, along with Chloe (who was with Jake once more) and Brooke (who had forgiven Rich). But those happy days did not last as long as Rich had hoped. By the end of the summer, Chloe and Jake were split once more over a similar circumstance as last time. The last month of the summer was just Rich and Jake.

Rich felt lucky to have Jake, though. Jake was an amazing friend. He was honest and a good listener. He was funny and kind and an overall fucking joy to be around. Rich felt comfortable telling him everything. Including the things that only he and Kevin knew.

They were parked near the beach. It was a warm summer night, and they sat on the hood of Jake’s Jeep Wrangler, watching the stars. Jake was enamoured with the stars. He always told Rich how he wanted to be an astronaut and how stupid of a dream it was.

Rich didn’t think it was stupid.

They were in comfortable silence. The only noises were the crashing of the waves against the rocks and the radio playing softly in Jake’s car.

“Can I tell you something?” Rich asked. “It’s serious.”

_ ARE YOU THINKING OF…? _

_ Yes. _

_...DO IT. IT WILL GROW YOUR FRIENDSHIP BY 40%. HE’LL KNOW THAT YOU TRUST HIM. _

“‘Course.” Jake looked over at Rich. The pale moonlight bounced beautifully off his hair.

“My dad…” Rich hesitated. “He’s an alcoholic.”

Jake’s eyes widened. He sat up and scooted closer to Rich, placing a gentle and affirming hand on his middle back. 

“What?” His voice was soft. Rich cleared his throat and repeated himself.

“Rich, that is…” Jake paused. “So fucked up. I’m so sorry, I had no idea. Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” Rich nodded briefly. It might not have been the full story, but it felt good to get something off his chest.

“You know I’ve always got your back, Rich. If you need anything, anything at all,” Jake said, “you just come over. You’re my best friend, I would do anything for you.”

 

Junior year was supposed to be different. They were upperclassman now, they were supposed to be even more of top dogs than before. But somehow Rich felt the exact fucking same he had at the end of sophomore year, but now he just had to do more schoolwork to graduate.

But Rich was still friends with Jake. He still had their little squad of jocks and quarterbacks. Overall, he was still pretty content with life. Even if his dad got worse by the day, Jake always let Rich come over.

_ YOU NEED TO HARASS JEREMY HEERE MORE _ , the Squip demanded. Rich looked across the lunchroom at Jeremy. He was awkwardly laughing at something his friend in the red sweatshirt--Michael?--was talking about.

_ Probably. I let him off for the first few days of school _ .

_ THAT NEEDS TO CHANGE TOMORROW. _

The next day, Rich found Jeremy before the first bell had even rung. Well, more like Jeremy found him. By bumping into him.

“Yo, don’t touch me, tall-ass!” He snapped.

The second Jeremy saw him, his skin somehow turned even paler than it was before. 

“Sorry, I was just... trying to get to my…” 

Before he could get a full sentence out Rich spun him around and forced him against a locker. He laughed to himself as he pulled out a Sharpie and scribbled on the back of Jeremy’s backpack. He gave him one final shove before backing off.

“You wash that off, you’re dead,” he said, not so much a threat but as a reminder of what Jeremy probably already knew. Rich laughed and started to walk away before he ran right into Jake and completely forgot about Jeremy.

 

“I am not signing up for the play, Jake. Are you nuts?” Rich scoffed as he looked up at the signup sheet.

“Dude, come on,” Jake spoke as he scribbled his name down. “It’ll be totally fun.”

“You’re only signing up ‘cause you think Christine is cute.”

“So what?” Jake looked at him. “Ugh. Everyone’s a critic. Just sign up, it’s not like you have anything better to do.”

“...That is true.”

_ SIGN UP FOR THE PLAY _ .

“Fine.” Rich rolled his eyes and wrote his name down below Jake’s. He had the courtesy to add a little inappropriate drawing next to it. He snickered to himself.

“Dude, nice!” Jake laughed and high-fived Rich. Rich grinned proudly. He really had no desire at all to be in “A Midsummer Night’s Dream About Zombies”, but if Jake wanted him to then there was really no point in arguing. Jake was always very dead-set on things. If he wanted something done, you could bet your ass it would be done.

Play rehearsal was just as boring and tedious as Rich expected. It was mostly Jake flirting with Christine, and poor Jeremy trying to make a move on her as well. Clearly Jake was leagues ahead of him.

Once they were dismissed, Rich chatted with Brooke for a few minutes, then made his way to the boys bathroom. To his surprise, who was there but Jeremy Heere, trying to scrub off his backpack. Rich let out a big, dramatic sigh and threw his head back.

“I told you  _ not _ to wash that off.”


End file.
